Illusions of grandeur
by sartielifts
Summary: "Dreaming of a happier life only makes you that much more aware of how disappointing reality can be..." Stories about the Glee character's "real" lives, what could have been if their lives on the show was just their imaginations. Angsty and depressing.
1. Rachel

_Author's note: This is the first piece in a series of fics in which the Glee characters live entirely different lives than the ones we are used to, making up the characters we know them as in their imagination. With that said, I appreciate any comments, especially nice and/or helpful ones, and hope to keep being inspired to write these fics, getting to work on the rest of the Glee club.  
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><p>She was standing in the very center of the auditorium, looking out towards the crowd holding their breaths as they eagerly anticipated the first jaw-dropping note of Celine Dion's <em>"My heart will go on" <em>to leave her mouth.

Singing was second nature to Rachel Berry, and it had been for as long as she could remember. That, coupled with the amount of confidence she had in her own talent , made her sure that it wasn't her nerves that were getting to her, as she stood there on stage in absolute silence, incapable of doing anything but just stand there in the bright spotlight.

No, it was something entirely different. There was something about this scenario that didn't seem right to her, she thought, as she gazed out at the audience. Every little space was filled up by someone, someone whose only reason for being there was getting to listen to Rachel's voice.

Suddenly, a strong feeling of dèjá vu swept over the girl like a tidal wave of emotions, knocking her back to her senses, and it dawned on her; she had fallen asleep during Biology again.

Like being struck by lighting, she woke with a jolt that made the girl sitting right next to her in the classroom shriek out in shock.

"Ms. Berry.", a raspy voice started, as Rachel frantically looked around the room at some staring faces, trying her best to return to reality as fast as her mind would let her. "While I appreciate the irony of you falling asleep while I was lecturing the class on the symptoms of Insomnia, I will have to see you after class."

While every single student in the room was now staring at her, only a couple of them seemed to get Mr. Henderson's attempt at humor, snickering mockingly as Rachel tried her best to look unaffected, turning a couple of pages in her book and pretending to copy down the notes from the whiteboard she had missed during her brief nap.

Soon enough, her classmates had returned to their usual routines, texting each other from under their desks and doodling in the margins of their papers as Mr. Henderson continued on talking, hoping at least the academically inclined students in the front were paying attention to his words.

Only a couple of minutes had passed since she was brought back to reality, when Rachel felt her attention wander from school and actually learning things yet again.

As she stared blankly at the lamp directly above Mr. Henderson's head, praying in silence for its cables to snap, she let her thoughts revisit the very familiar dream she had just woken up from minutes ago, and she felt that familiar knot tighten in her stomach again as she faced the cold and harsh reality of her life; Rachel Barbra Berry was never going to be the star she had always wanted to be.

Ever since she was seven, she could clearly remember her dreams of stardom, her wish to be overwhelmed with praising words from fans across the globe, calling her voice "A gift from above". Nothing felt as good as thinking of the adoring masses, pitching tents outside the sold-out theaters days before, praying to get a hold of tickets to the show in which the lead role was played by none other than the biggest star to bless the scenes of Broadway in decades.

However, these dreams of stardom had long since been given up on, as she had realized early on that her singing voice was nothing short of mediocre. Sure, she wasn't born completely tone deaf, but only in her wildest dreams, the dreams she so often revisited during her sleeping hours, could she belt out the last tone perfectly to the Barbra Streisand classic _"Don't rain on my parade"._ But as her imaginary life was satisfying in so many more ways than her real one, she just couldn't help herself, she just couldn't wait to get out of reality and into her head, to the place where the first people thought of when they heard her name was _somebody_, not _nobody_.

Never really having any real friends, Rachel found herself getting through grade after grade, year after year, simply being alive, but never really living. As thankful as she sometimes was that people didn't really seem to pay attention to her anywhere she went, she would almost rather be the bullied one than the practically invisible one. At least maybe then she'd actually feel something, anything, not waking up in the morning with the same numb feeling every single day of her life. Sure, she was in no way immune to weird glances and whispers behind her back, but she couldn't help but sometimes quietly wish for her to be one of those kids that couldn't be within ten yards of their classmates without getting one of those slush drinks aimed towards them, as they tried to make their way through the hallways unnoticed. At least then she'd have some proof of her existence on a regular basis.

No, Rachel Berry was destined to grow up and work with something most unextraordinary, fitting her very unextraordinary life, but that didn't stop her from going to sleep every night, letting her mind play with the idea of Rachel – the girl that burned with the passion of a million dazzling stars.


	2. Finn

_**Author's note: **I never in a million years thought I'd actually finish up the second chapter less than 24 hours after the first one, and I hope that doesn't reflect in the quality of the story. Also: comments, suggestions for future chapters, constructive criticism, anything at all really is really appreciated, as always._

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><p>As it dawned on Finn Hudson that he and his football team had just scored the winning points in the championship game, he let out a deafening roar of happiness, drowned by an explosion of cheering and yelling from both the field and the bleachers. It was just impossible for him to grasp; the team that was the laughing stock of the high school football community just little over a year ago was now screaming out loud from the indescribably proud feeling of victory.<p>

It was right then, as he was engulfed by his friends and teammates embraces, he realized that this was the happiest he had ever felt in his entire life. Something just didn't feel right about that. Sure, winning the game was really great and all, he thought, but there just had to be something in his life that had made him happier than this. He tried his hardest to remember any memory at all, when something screechy started beeping really loudly.

Holding his ears and shutting his eyes as tight as he could, he was still overwhelmed by that terrible noise, deafening everything around him. His reality had taken a sudden turn towards fiction, and he didn't have the slightest idea of what to do about it, as he couldn't even hear his own thoughts over the terrible sound that had, by some reason unbeknownst to him, decided to violate his ears.

Suddenly, he felt his eyes burst open as he gasped for air, his whole body shaking from its core. In the darkness of whatever place Finn was in, a flashing red light drew his attention, which also seemed to be the origin of that loud beeping sound that still hadn't stopped.

As reality washed over him, he stared at his alarm clock for a brief moment, unable to do anything but fixate his eyes on the flashing numbers on the screen, before he snapped out of his dreams once and for all and was back to reality. Hitting the button on the clock as hard as reality had just hit him, he turned around in his bed to lie on his back, staring thoughtfully up at his ceiling lamp, his eyes now having somewhat adjusted to the darkness of early morning.

There was something so peaceful about just lying there, trying to hold on to that fleeting dream about football he had just had, but it just didn't seem right. His mother had always told him to live in the present, appreciating real life more than some fantasy world where everything was better, but that just seemed like such a load of crap coming from her mouth, as it was no secret how miserable his and his mother's lives were. She just had to daydream about happiness just as much as he did. There was no disputing that. No, those words were definitely not hers, but they did however sound suspiciously much like something his cold and unbearably negative father would say.

If there was something Finn was ashamed to admit about the imaginary place he visited so often in his head, it was his father's absence. Yes, his father was a bitter old alcoholic with some serious anger management issues, but something didn't seem right about wishing someone to cease existing, even if it's just imaginary, even if you hated that person from the bottom of your heart. It just felt like everything would be so much better if there was just Finn and his mother. He wouldn't have to be afraid to step inside his own house, and he knew his mother would be much better of without the worst husband in the world. But there was something else, something that made him more excited to think about than he ever would have imagined it could: if his father wasn't around anymore, he could finally admit his love for singing, without having his father sneer at him and calling him "a damned fag".

It was hard not to relish the silence of his otherwise busy home as he lie there on his bed, no intentions what so ever to get up and get ready for school, which was what he was supposed to do. He figured his mother would come in soon enough when she noticed his absence during breakfast, yelling at him for not being able to appreciate the value of time. Also, he wasn't really wetting himself with excitement thinking of what he had to face when he'd managed to drag himself to school. Sure, nothing he could think of was as bad as his own home, but McKinley High wasn't far behind on the list.

It wasn't like Finn didn't have any friends, or got one of those famed slushy facials every day as he walked through the doors of his school, but that still didn't keep him from being as miserable in school as any normal teenager would be. Learning stuff in general had never really interested him, especially not since that unforgettable time his father had called him the stupidest kid in the entire state of Ohio, which Finn still to this day could feel taking a blow at his already low self-esteem. School just wasn't for him, and he could feel the anger in him building up just thinking about it, which made him feel so much worse about it, since he knew very well what he did in school when he was angry.

He didn't feel like himself when he did it, but he still tossed people in the dumpsters out in the parking lot whenever he felt like it, and he wouldn't hesitate to be in on some stupid and mean prank, directed towards one of the many losers he frequently found himself taking his anger out on.

No, the angry, miserable Finn Hudson didn't feel like him at all, which was probably why he found himself shutting his eyes, hoping he would fall back to sleep before his mother came bursting into his room, just for the chance to revisit that championship game he'd just dreamed of, feeling totally happy for once in his life.


End file.
